SSDD
by Poultry Man
Summary: In the end, all jobs are the same.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only.**

* * *

><p>"Know what the worst part of this is?"<p>

"That it's fucking cold, or that it's fucking cold?"

Raven thought about it for a moment, moving her eyes from side to side. She chewed her lips, seemingly pensive, before speaking, "I think the former has its strong points, but I'm more inclined to agree with the latter."

Beast assented agreement, nodded energetically, before something clicked in his mind. "Wait-what?"

Turning to see the slightly puzzled look on Beast Boy's face, Raven only shook her head, as if to say '_nevermind_.'

"Well, what were you gonna say?"

"Oh." She said (now somewhat befuddled herself) as she searched for her original thought. "Only that this is a complete waste of time."

"Tell me about it."

Raven stared at him a moment, she was fighting a rather resilient impulse that lived in her mind. It was a devious little demon that sought to turn every single thing Beast Boy said against him in a never ending barrage of torment. At the moment it was hell-bent on making Raven respond with "I believe I just did." Raven however, had something to say and this comment would be unproductive to her conversation. So she shook it off.

"I don't see how this will accomplish any goal, except pandering to Robin's paranoia."

"There is no way this guy has anything to do with Slade." Beast Boy said, agitated. "But NOOO!" Here he forsook his own voice for that of Robin's, "_Every lead has to be followed, or else it's a lost opportunity."_

He shook his head in disbelief. _"_Seriously? We have got to do something about the stick up that guy's ass."

Raven looked at the changeling with a measure of annoyance, before responding off-handedly. "Yeah well, I'm pretty sure you have Batman to thank for that."

"Whoa! You mean the rumors are true!" Beast Boy looked to Raven for some reaction, but she just stared blankly at him. "You know get it, cause you said Batman stuck a stick up his...and they say that, you know...Bad joke?"

"Bad joke."

Beast boy looked dejected, but he shrugged, "At least I tried."

"You tried too hard." Raven said earnestly.

An awkward silence engulfed the street corner. The shadows of the empty warehouses were nipping at their heels.

"Damn it's cold!" Beast Boy said again, as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a beat up pack of Marlboros he glanced back at Raven. "Want one?" he said shaking the pack invitingly.

Raven grimaced slightly, "No thanks."

"Suit yourself." He said putting one in his mouth. He began scrabbling around in his coat for a lighter. "All right, you wanna know what the part I really can't figure out is?"

"Why Robin had us tail an obviously repressed middle-aged software programmer, who has lead us, not to Slade, but what would appear to be an S & M dungeon?" The grey teenager said, staring at the building across the street. The flashing lights pulsating in the windows boded most ill.

"Nope. I know the answer to that."

"Really?"

"Yep, that's cause he's crazy. What I want to know...is how the hell you can read a book out here!"

"Cause, we're on a quote- unquote mission?" Raven asked confused.

"No, because there is no light."

"Oh" She said. "I can see fine."

"One of those things?" Beast Boy said more levelly.

"Yeah." Raven replied in a quiet voice.

Beast Boy turned back to the seedy little establishment their wild goose chase had brought them too. "What do we have to look forward to?"

"The cessation of life" Raven responded automatically.

"I meant tonight specifically."

"Probably awkward moments caused by building sexual tension."

Beast Boy stared wide eyed at her.

"That was a joke."

"I think _you're_ trying too hard." The boy said, while flicking ash on the ground.

"Not amused?" Raven asked with a sly smile.

"No, I'm just aroused."

Raven looked away, letting the remark fall by the wayside. The infringing wisps of Beast Boy's cigarettes wafted over toward the girl, and caused her to cough.

"God those things smell like shit."

"They taste horrible too." Beast Boy laughed and inhaled.

"How can you take it?"

"Hey I'm just trying to look inconspicuous in this part of town."

"Garfield." She said firmly. "You're green. All over. It's not helping."

The boy looked at her a moment, before throwing the offending article on the pavement.

"I say we call it a night." He declared, while squashing the butt with his foot.

"We've only been out here an hour."

"And have we gleaned anything other than what an overweight man in his fifties looks like in a rubber bodysuit?" Beast Boy asked, waving his hand at the line of "enthusiasts" waiting to enter the building.

"I see your point."

"He's not coming back out anytime soon. So we've learned all we can learn by just waiting. Unless you want to go in, and find the creep?"

"No." Raven declared with finality. "No. No. Just-no." She said waving her hand and shaking her head.

"Right, so whadya we do to kill enough time, Robin thinks we were working hard?"

"There's an all-night cafe a little ways from here. We can kill time there."

"Great. At least we can keep warm." Beast boy said rubbing his arms.

Raven, who was busy doing the same thing, nodded before, "Amen."


End file.
